Ok, ok, that's a bit "glass-half-empty" way of looking at things, where I am most definitely a "glass-half-full" kind of gal. In all honesty, 2010-2012 were an amazing two years of my life full of exciting adventures, interesting cultures, amazing friends (new and old), and just the average trials and tribulations of a young adult finding their true self. I'm happy to be home, have a part-time gig as Karma Yogi, hot job prospects, and a positive outlook on where my life is going. With that being said...
Let's jump back to 2006 for a second-- my Freshman year at Carnegie Mellon. A specific instance where an upperclassman described me as "innocent, and viewing the world through rose-tinted glasses," comes to mind. I remember being offended by this, but now often think back to how true of a statement it was. I was just beginning to see the realer side of life. My parents chose which college I would attend based on financial reasons during my stepfather's battle with cancer. It was logical. I understood. But it meant not pursing my acting dreams as a Theater Major at NYU. I didn't think how these decisions would affect me in the long term and just went through the motions: high school, college, figure life out.
Being away from home was difficult, having a major I didn't like was difficult, breaking up with my boyfriend was difficult, making new friends and maintaining my upbeat personality was... surprisingly easy. I didn't harp on the struggles, but rather marveled at the world of opportunity in front of me. Why carry emotional luggage that might weigh me down and hold me back? I enjoyed the freedom, and although I didn't always make the best decisions, I quickly learned to remove my tinted glasses, and see the world for what it really is. A place where unexplainable things happen to people unexpectedly. A world where not every person is good and trustworthy, but also a world where when you find the right people, you can understand and accept that everything happens for a reason.
I realize I dropped the ball on maintaining my blog while abroad. I did keep a personal journal of my experiences and thoughts during my time overseas and am excited to share excerpts as I reminisce on old times while trying to understand myself in the present. Now that I'm back in the states, I am committing to reflecting on these past experiences, while sharing with the world, the ins and outs of reverse-culture shock, and re-assimilation to American life. I am grateful for the family and friends that have shown me endless support in my endeavors and are a persistent reminder that the journey of our lives are filled with obstacles, but you never need to face them alone!
The true test is how we handle each phase of life. How much baggage do we insist on carrying with us? Why do we hold on to the things that no longer serve us? Why do we sometimes live in the past or insist on stressing about the future? The time is now. Understanding that where we are currently is where we are supposed to be, whether it's a period of stability, transition, weakness or strength. I turned to a page in my travel journal from 6/1/2011; I was anxious while packing for a trip to Amsterdam. I was letting things from my past, and worry about the future, get in the way of the excitement of the adventure I was about to embark on. I remember skyping with my friend and her telling me, "the only thing you need to worry about is the next three days... and you're only allowed one little tote." One little tote of emotion, of worry, of baggage. I've held on to this philosophy and decided when I moved back to the states in August, that I wasn't going to be checking many bags.
So here we go people, LianaShenanigans is back and better than ever. If you care to follow and read along while I share thoughts, experiences, silliness, and insight, I can only hope my words resonate with you in a positive way. I end this post with a photo from Amsterdam where I let go of unnecessary stress and fully enjoyed my life in it's present state. The smile speaks for itself.
Love and Light.*
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